Do you have a picky eater?

(submitted by Kim)

By Melanie Shay, registered dietitian

As long as your child is growing normally, she's most likely okay, even if she doesn't seem to be eating enough. The truth is, it's quite common for children at this age to have trouble sitting still for meals, to eat irregularly, and to be very picky about what they will eat.You may be tempted to try to force your child to eat more, but don't: The more pressure you put on her, the more she'll resist and the less she'll eat. Instead, offer her a range of healthy foods, eat them yourself so you're setting a good example, and then sit back and let her choose what she wants to eat, and how much. Don't worry — she won't starve.

A recent study from the American Dietetic Association showed that nearly all children will eat enough to meet their nutritional needs when they have access to a variety of foods, even those whose mothers described them as extremely picky eaters.The important thing to remember is that normal growth is the best indicator of adequate nutrition, so if your child is maintaining adequate growth in both height and weight (which your doctor can help you determine), then she is getting plenty of calories. Talk to your child's doctor at the next well-child visit (or make an appointment before then if you're really concerned) to confirm that your child is growing at the expected rate.

While your child may be getting enough calories to grow, you may be worried that she's not getting these calories from the right sources. So you may want to record what your child eats for about a week (without making a big deal about it in front of her). Then you can use the Food Guide Pyramid to help you assess her eating. You'll probably find that she's eating better than you thought. If she seems deficient in any one food group, try offering more foods from that group for a while. If that doesn't work, you can always ask your pediatrician to recommend an appropriate multivitamin to help meet your child's nutritional needs.

It is perfectly normal for preschoolers to object to the shape, color, or texture of a food — or to suddenly decide that they hate everything, even foods they loved yesterday. It's also common for them to have what experts call food jags. That is, they insist on eating the same few foods at every meal."It's a fear of new things," says Nancy Hudson, a registered dietitian at the University of California, Berkeley. "We think it's one of those quirks that humans probably developed to protect themselves as mankind evolved. You don't try new things because you don't know if they're safe." This fear of new things usually tapers off by age 4, but for some children it continues into adulthood. At any rate, whether it's his bedtime routine or his peanut butter sandwich cut on the diagonal, your child probably likes things to be consistent and familiar — so he may not be willing to try new foods until you've served them numerous times.

Picky eating can also be a preschooler's way of declaring his independence ("You can't make me eat that") and may have less to do with the actual food than a need to push the limits of your authority and assert some control over his life. Finally, because preschoolers are a wiggly lot, it may seem as though your child can't sit still long enough to eat very much at one sitting. You can try to keep your child interested in his food longer by making mealtime as calm and uneventful as possible, without distractions from toys, television, or pets.


Your child has an innate sense of how much food his body needs to grow and be healthy, and it's up to him to decide what he's going to eat. The best thing you can do is to provide a wide variety of healthy foods in a positive, relaxed environment so mealtimes will be enjoyable for everyone.

Here are some specific tips on how to handle a picky eater:
• Provide a variety of good foods for your preschooler to eat at each meal. Keep in mind that it takes numerous exposures to a new food for a child to see it as familiar enough to try. So be patient. When you do offer a new food, simply place it on the dinner table with everything else, and don't make a big deal about it. Don't put it right on your child's plate, which may seem threatening or cause him to rebel. Eventually, after he's seen you eat the food a few times, he may feel more open to trying it himself.
• Serve child-size portions. For example, two slices of bread provides the daily grain requirements for a 2- or 3-year old, and 2 tablespoons of peanut butter (just enough to barely cover two slices of bread) give a young child about half the recommended amount of daily protein.
• Don't give your preschooler too many options at mealtime. If you say "It's dinnertime. What do you want to eat?" your child will probably choose something familiar, and he'll seem like a picky eater, says Hudson. However, if you say "Here's dinner," he'll have to choose from among the foods you're offering. Of course, you won't want to offer an entire meal of unfamiliar foods because your child simply won't eat them. Instead, always offer a meal that includes at least one thing you know your child likes.
• When introducing new foods, don't present them in large quantities. If by some miracle your preschooler is interested in trying a new food, give him just a taste and let him ask for more. That way he'll feel more in control and you won't feel like you're wasting food if he doesn't eat it. When you can, give him a new food to try when you know he's hungry — slices of mango when he has the afternoon munchies, for example.
• Keep in mind that some children's palates are more sensitive than others', and they simply won't like the texture, color, or taste of some foods. That's why a child might claim to dislike a food he has never even tried. Likewise, some children may reject a food because it reminds them of a time when they were sick or because they have some other negative association with it. If your preschooler complains that a particular food will make him sick, stop offering that food for a while. You can try again when he's a bit older.
• Whenever possible, let your preschooler be involved in food decisions and preparations, including shopping and making meals and snacks. (And if he can help you grow some of the family's produce in the yard, so much the better!) This will give him a sense of control over his diet. And he'll be more likely to eat something that he's chosen, or prepared, for himself. (This works best if you let your child choose from a small selection of foods you've already identified rather than just asking him to pick his supper.) Make fun, healthful treats together — like yogurt-and-fruit banana splits or ants on a log (raisins placed on top of peanut butter-filled celery sticks).
• Look for ways to boost the nutritional value of the foods your preschooler enjoys. Put some tuna or ham on his grilled cheese, or meat or tofu in his spaghetti sauce, for example.
• Teach your child (without lecturing) about good nutrition. Hang a food chart in the kitchen and have him color in the requirements as he meets them each day, and mention nonchalantly that his oatmeal will help him run and jump better this morning.
• Don't cater too much to your preschooler's pickiness. While it was fine to indulge your toddler's desire to have his cheese sandwiches cut into star or moon shapes, your preschooler is getting old enough to eat without special gimmicks.
• As your child's world expands and he begins attending preschool, his taste in foods might broaden as well. It's not uncommon for children to be more open to new foods when they're away from home.